The First Time I Met Sarah
I met Sarah for the first time at a 12 Step meeting in East Nashville. I had been in AA for a couple of years, and knew I qualified for other 12 Step fellowships, so I decided to check one of them out that fateful night in early 2017.
I had a personal rule that I wouldn’t date anyone in AA, so I never thought about meeting someone in that setting. It’s always been a vulnerable and safe place for me, and I wanted it to be the same for everyone else in the rooms. However, as I saw Sarah from across the room for the first time, I chuckled to myself, “Well, I never made a rule about dating in other 12 Step groups…”
It was not my intention to hit on Sarah, but I felt compelled to talk to her, because she looked very familiar and I couldn’t place where I had met her. So I walked up to her after a meeting one night and said, “I’m not just saying this, but I swear I know you from somewhere...” I then listed social circles or places where we may have met in the past. She pretty much gave me the “get lost” vibes, and told me that we didn’t know each other. I took no offense, as I was genuinely curious and not trying to hit on her. But I was definitely very attracted to her!
I saw Sarah at a handful of meetings, and each time, I tried to say hi, or figure out where we’d met before. I always kept it brief and respectful, but I wasn’t really getting anywhere with our short conversations. I stopped regularly attending that meeting after a couple of months when my touring schedule started to pick up, and I didn’t see Mystery Sarah again until the fall of that year.
Meanwhile, I started using the dating app Bumble that summer, and went on a handful of dates. Though some of the dates were fun, I had not found anyone that checked all the boxes for me. At one point, one of my friends had grabbed my phone, opened Bumble, and swiped right on dozens of women without my knowing, so I was matching with women I had never seen before on the app. I was thinking about just deleting the app altogether, when one night I received a message from a “Sarah Saturday.”
When I saw the message from Sarah, my heart started racing. This was the girl that I had a crush on from that meeting, who wouldn’t give me the time of day! I knew a fair amount of her background from hearing her share in the meetings, and I knew that she was active in recovery. This checked a couple of the boxes even before our first date on September 30, 2017. After that first date, the other boxes were thoroughly checked, and I knew that I had found someone with whom I wanted to spend a lot of time. I couldn’t wait for our second date!